So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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