Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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