We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
