I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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