On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Small penises have feelings too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
