I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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