just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
