next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
