i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
