I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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