so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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