Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
