Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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