I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
