We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
