i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
