it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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