Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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