a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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