Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
