I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
