And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
