i need an iv and a liver transplant
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Floor bacon is actually really good
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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