is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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