Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
