I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
