Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
