Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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