Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
