I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
