she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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