My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
