i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
