Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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