we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
