Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
