I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
