just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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