Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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