i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
