You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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