my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
