Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
