Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
