im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
