THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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