Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
