Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
