She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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