So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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