you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
