I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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