I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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