So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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