my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The air taste purple.
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